How Your Support Network Can Help You Thrive at University

You are responsible for your own education and success at university. But, as John Donne’s famous quote explains, “no man is an island”. As a student you do not have to do everything by yourself. Accept help from your support network of friends and family throughout your studies so you can thrive.

Whether this is your first year of studying, or your second, third or fourth, talk to your support network of friends and family about how they can help you in your studies.

Motivation and encouragement

Sometimes you’ll feel like you’d rather do anything than study

** shout out to the urge to clean your bathroom rather than write your essay **

When you’re feeling unmotivated your support network of loved ones can give you a pep talk to give you the energy and encouragement to continue.

Your friends and family can listen to you rant and moan about your workload or a mark you’re not happy with. They can remind you why you’re doing this and help you remember that you’re pretty kickass so you CAN do this. (Check out this post for some tips on how you can motivate yourself to study).

Maybe you don't feel like your support network motivates or encourages you in your studies. I've experienced this and had others tell me the same. Maybe there's people in your life who don't believe in you or think you're setting your sights too high. Who don't think you're capable or who think you're wasting your time studying.

You don't need this negativity. If you've decided you want to study then that's what matters. You started this journey because you knew deep down you could do this. So be your best self, not what others want you to be.

If you're not getting what you need from your current support network, expand it. Look for opportunities to meet or connect with other students. Look for forums or Facebook groups. There will be others who share your experience and you should be able to find an accountability partner that you can talk to when you're feeling low or want to share a win.

Time and space

It can be difficult for our support network to understand how many hours a week we need to spend studying. They have to learn to cope with the reality they don’t have our attention all the time.

This may not be the case for everyone reading this but I’ve had multiple emails from students whose families have expressed unhappiness or even resentment with the time they spend studying.

This is a tricky topic to approach as everyone’s family dynamic is different. But, ultimately, we all deserve to be supported in what’s important to us. If you believe you support your loved ones with their goals and commitments, then you need to ask for this in return.

Studying will have future positive benefits for you AND those around you. If you think this applies to you, try to talk to your support network about why you’re studying and what you will all get from your education.

Maybe your degree will allow you to apply for a better job. Perhaps your employer is supporting you through your degree and more opportunities will open up to you upon completion. Maybe it will allow you to start a new career where you’ll be happier and more fulfilled. Or maybe you don’t have a plan yet for once the degree is finished. But continuing education is such a powerful thing to do, opportunities will open up as you gain confidence and broaden your mind.

Remind your loved ones that your studying won’t last forever and that supporting you during this time will make your journey smoother so you can thrive at university, but also care for and support them better.

Extra support

Don’t be afraid to also ask for extra support for all the other jobs you have to fit your studying around.

If you find you’re struggling, could your partner or housemate pick up a few more chores or cooking duties? Could you agree that during busy times like assignment writing or exam revision, someone else picks up the slack a little bit?

Whenever studying got a little crazy I’d ask my boyfriend if he could cook most of our dinners and pick up some of my household chores. I didn’t want to ask as it felt unfair for him to take on more work so I could study.

But, ultimately, knowing these other tasks were done allowed me to be a lot happier and calmer. Once studying eased off a little I would pick up my chores again, and buy him some beers or bake some cookies to say thank you!

If you are studying while raising a family, could you ask friends or family to take your children for an afternoon or evening every so often to give you some uninterrupted study time?

Don’t be afraid to lean on your support system a little. It doesn’t mean you’re weak, it will actually help you be a lot happier so you can show up better for your loved ones.